....Sleep.... It never seems to come.

I cant even begin to try to remember the last time I was able to just fall asleep. Its been like this for years now. I lay in bed and my mind begins to race. Always with all the questions I have in my head, all things I wish I knew, all the dreams and goals I had planned. Everyone tells me I need to find a why to relax or maybe you should try to meditate. Let me tell you, I try everything and anything. Its like I dread falling asleep. Sleep puts me in these places I am afraid to go to while I am awake, either mentally or physically. Or is it because I am afraid if I fall asleep it puts me another day away from where I want to be or one day closer to the things I dont want to come. These are the things that run through my mind keeping sleep as far away as possible. 

This was the time that used to take to write my letters. I have never been good at writing in a journal. ( so wish me luck with this) My poetry was and is my form of journaling. Its always been the easiest way to share how I feel for years. It puts all my emotions into one thing... that sometimes I like to share. But they are also something that is so special to me because of the people who they are about and who they are meant for. Some of  my precious memories from boyfriends from the past. Milestones I guess you could say. Like this one.

I lie on the ground,
and stare into space,

the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.

I see you there now,
looking down at me,
with that cute little smile,
that I like to see.

You say "close your eyes",
"tell me what you see",
I see only two people,
just you and me.

We're walking the shoreline,
with our feet getting wet,
the horizon turns pink,
as the sun starts to set.

We make love through the night,
on that white sandy shore,
then I hold you while thinking,
I could want nothing more.

Oh I wish I could be,
in that one special place,
as I lie on the ground,
and I stare into space.

Love, always and forever!!!!!

Blaine 

I knew then that he loved me long before he ever said those three amazing words.... It is amazing how words can bring up so many different thoughts and are able to express the deepest of emotions and ideas someone feels and can touch the hearts of so many