What He is.... And What I Miss....

He is….
“Its hard to come up with the words the words to describe our love.” That is what used to always say when we would write cards or letters. We always had to much to say.

 He always had loved to give even when he didn’t want to. There was never someone who would call with a question or needing some kind of help, that he would hesitate to jump right on it to do what he could. He was always there waiting with his huge smile and a hug.

He is what made me complete.
He is the reason I woke up everyday.
He is the reason I fought for so much.
He is the reason that I love.
He is what made me, me.
He is my best friend.
He is the love of my life.
He knew just what to say to make me laugh so I would snort.

He knew how to push my buttons in just the right way to make my angry face just to tell me how cute I was when I was mad.
He made my life worth living.
He always knew just the right thing to say.
He knew all the little things about me.
He loved to joke, play and tickle.
He taught me how to give myself unselfishly without even knowing it.
He gave me the greatest gift, which is to love and be loved.
His hugs were tight enough to feel like he hadn't seen you in a while . . .and long enough to let you know he was making a memory in his own mind . . never too tight though . . .it's been years for me, but I always remember that. He knew how to make you feel cared about.

 

I really miss the way he said I love you and how he said it with out saying the words.
I miss the way he woke me up at 5:30 everymorning just to day I love you and to wake me up just becasue he could.
I miss bickering on the phone over nothing and calling each other stupid names that little kids would use.
I miss how he would ask where was his everytime I said I was making some kind of food.
The small things are what mean the most.

I miss the way he looked at me like there was no one else around
or that he always had to be touching me no matter how it was.

I miss the sound of his voice. Or the way he always tole me "You know I am a big deal!"

I miss the way he tried to strech his fingers or pop his knees.

I miss the way he smelled good or bad.

I miss his different smiles.

I miss the way he would push my buttons just to make me make my made face so he could tell me how cute I was when I was mad.

I miss his hugs and how safe and secure and loved in his arms.

I miss the way he would ask for things he really wanted me to do. the way he would ask in the sweetest way to rub his back or feet and do mine first without me ever asking him.

I miss the way he whined when I put my cold feet on him.

I miss him chasing me around to tickle me or write on me.

I miss the way he would stand in front of the mirror and pluck hairs.
I miss how he always called to say goodnight.
I miss how he always wanted to know how my day was and what happened even when he already knew.
I miss the way he would look at me when he thought I wasn’t looking.

Like I never needed anything else for the rest of my life.

He was everything I needed
He was imperfect and perfect in his own way and as was I and it was all we needed.
I could do anything while with him, be anything I wanted.
He made me see that I was beautiful inside and out and was the first person to get me to believe it.
I would have give my life for his in a heart beat.

There were so many ways we described our love... but there was always more to say,or finding new ways to see it and say it
I am still head over heels in love with him.
I still get the butterflies in my stomach, when I think about him holding me or kissing me.

Eventually I will move forward but I don't think think there is ever letting go.
 He will always be a huge part of me no matter what or who i meet. I will just start taking small steps forward....